Monday, February 14, 2005

Grammys or Pro Bowl?

Isn't it always the same? You have to choose which you want to watch. The Grammys or the Pro Bowl. We tried to watch both. But, as usual, each time one went to commercial, so did the other. So, in reality, we watched a bunch of commercials. From what I did see, however, here are my thoughts collected:

1. Tom Brady sucks. (Y'all knew that was coming.)
In what I basically consider a Super Bowl-redeeming moment, Eagles dude Lito Sheppard went out of his way to collect a great pass from Tom Brady. I'm sorry - did I say "collect"? I meant INTERCEPT! Boo-yah Tom Brady! In yo FACE! (Sorry - I get carried away.)

2. Gretchen Wilson sucks.
I'm sorry - that whole "I'm a redneck chick and proud of it" thing is getting on my nerves. Besides, I don't think of her as a redneck as much as I think of her as a no-talent who wouldn't know what the key of C sounded like if it jammed itself down her throat. The Captain says, "She looks like she was rode hard and put away wet." I'm not sure she got put away at all. And it is particularly annoying to me that I had to watch her during the Stupor Bowl and the Grammys! What happened to all the hot-looking country singer chicks like Shania Twain and Faith Hill! Please, no more Gretchen! For the love of everything Foxworthy!

3. Bill Cowher looks hideous in Hawaiian print shirts.

No further comment necessary. Posted by Hello

I shall now burn every Hawaiian print shirt I own.

4. J Lo and Marc A should never sing together again.
So I am listening to this duet and watching their ridiculous antics on the bedroom set. What utter CRAP! Who produced this show?! I mean, I go to great lengths to avoid thinking about those two in bed and then I am confronted with this?!? Ack! And what were they supposed to be doing? Getting ready to go out? I would have much preferred to see them reenact a murder-suicide plot. Then Ben points out that only people who speak Spanish understand what the hell they are saying. Oh yeah, good point! Well, for all my Anglos out there who don't speak Spanish - consider yourselves lucky. At least you may have thought it sounded romantic, when in fact it was utter bullsh*t.

5. Green Day rocks out.

6. U2 sells out. (Sorry, Jazzy. But you already knew how I felt about their latest album and iPod crap.)

7. Suzie Kolber still makes us scratch our asses.
It's kind of like a drinking game in the Stanley-Springer house. Whenever Suzie comes on, we scratch our butts. Why? Because it makes more sense than the crap coming out of her mouth. Talk about utter drivel and stupid questions. She's is definitely a female John Madden (although she isn't as bad as Larry Merchant). Anyway, frankly, we kinda enjoy a good butt scratch every now and then.

8. Donovan McNabb is still my boy.
The Captain told me D-Nice threw a pick. I didn't see it because I was working in the office. Therefore, the interception never happened. Y'all know I create my own reality.

9. There's really no point to the Grammys.
Do I really care if my favorite musical artist wins some statue? Does it really make a difference to what songs I like or listen to? Does it really stop me from illegally downloading? (I think you can answer these questions.)

10. There's really no point to the Pro Bowl.
I mean, they don't even rush the kicker during field goal attempts. No one is really trying. It's just a show case to satisfy the cravings of millions of fans for a little more football. Well, I guess it kinda works - I watch it. But then it kinda sucks - I feel gypped.

Well - I gotta go to work now. (Alright - I actually just have to go refresh my screwdriver.)

P.S. I had nothing to do with that Dallas Cowboys dude who had to sit out the game because the airlines lost his luggage.

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