Wednesday, July 26, 2006

A Sassy Music Review: New Music Alert!

Sassy says ... Pour yourself a lager and check out this band! Who the hell is Leon, you ask? Well - they're a Brit band (of course) and the sound is bubbly, refreshing, and fun, with an old school flavor courtesy of the poppy electronica additions and the simple, direct lyrics. (Think Gary Numan meets Coldplay). A perfect foil to the gangsta rap that's been saturating our bleeding ears! Thanks, Leon! (Britain fights back).

GETTING INTO YOU (Leon)




In other music news - are we the only ones that thought Zayra looked like a freakin' freak last night on Rock Star: Supernova? As one very astute observer noted (and by "very astute observer", we mean Sassy's 16 yr old son), "She looks like she's advertising her new website "www.NASA-circusfreak.com"! After Sassy added, "Either that or she's been possessed by Ultra Mega Chicken," we spent the rest of the show doubled over laughing at her. What a weirdo. I mean, it's bad enough that she can't sing her way out of a grease-stained, brown paper bag, but dang! That outfit was ludicrous! I hope she gets sent home TONIGHT!!

Signed,
Sassy Music Critic

P.S. Our all-out fave to win is Dilana. Hands down. My only concern is this: I think Dilana is better than SuperNova [Whut whut whut?!?].... It would be kind of a waste of her talent to sign up with a bunch of has beens [Oh no she didn't!] .... I'm just saying. ...

P.P.S. Ultra Mega Chicken? ... No! Ssh! He's a legend!



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Wednesday, July 19, 2006

John Cusack Wins Restraining Order

Ok, ok, ok, John! You win! I'll stop throwing my panties over your fence, alright?! Sheesh. Ya know - some guys would have been flattered by all the attention. But, then again, I suppose the combination of my incessant phone calls, the daily flower deliveries, and the blimp Jazzy hired to fly over your house every other hour .... well, that may have been too much. We're sorry, we really are. But, dude, we LOVE you, man! We ... love ... you! Oh well - I guess this means the wedding's off. ... [sad sigh] Hey Jazzy - I called Goodyear and told them to cancel today's flights. Bummer.


Signed,
Sassy Stalker

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Teen: "Christie Brinkley's Husband Wants Me"

Well, I guess this proves the old adage that for every supermodel out there, there's at least one dude (or in Christie's case - FOUR dudes) tired of f*cking her. [heavy sigh] It ain't easy bein' hot (take it from Sassy).

Then again, as I look at this pic, I have to ask myself, "What could a 17 yr old toy store clerk have over Chrizzle Brizzle?" Discuss amongst yourselves and get back to me!

Signed
Sassy, Formerly A 17 yr Old Toy Store Clerk

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Wednesday, July 12, 2006

It's Official ... Sassy Loves Moonshine!

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know what y'all are saying: "Sassy loves anything with liquor in it." But, dudes, seriously - you've gotta check this band out! To put it simply - THEY FRIGGIN' ROCK! And I'm not just saying that cuz my mother once referred to the lead guitarist as "One of The Beautiful People". (Yep - my mother said that. He blushed, she giggled. She's such a hussy! Mom also threatened to riot when he cut his hair off ... but that's a whole other post ...) Anyway, if you get a chance - go see Moonshine Road! RAWK!


Rock 'n' Roll Lives! Gimme some Moonshine!


CREDITS: Special Thanks to Bernie - again! She knows why!

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It's Official ... Sassy Loves Matt Harding!

As loyal readers know, Sassy travels ... (and The Cap'n too!). But damn! Matt makes us look like lumps on logs! And that dude can dance a jig like a Mo Fo! Thanks to Bernie (She's Da Bizzle Fo' Shizzle!) for this awesome video! Ladies and Germs, I ask you - "Where The Hell Is Matt ...?"


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Thursday, July 06, 2006

Keira K: "I'm Not Anorexic ..."

Yeah right ... she's just boney ass boney! Can you say "skull and cross bones"? Dang girl! Eat some fish 'n' chips already!