Friday, June 30, 2006

Sassy Travels To MySpace!

Yes - it's true. In the spirit of "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em", Sassy has logged on to that infamous online community behemoth, MySpace. Our loyal reader(s) should not be alarmed, however: Sassy will continue to blog here. (Especially now that she's done writing that stupid brief!)

Sassy's MySpace spot is mainly for "fun" (as opposed to "in depth legal, satirical, topical, political analysis" like this blog .... What? You didn't realize that's what this blog is all about? Sheesh!). It's also an easy way for her to keep in touch with her peeps!

Anyway, for all of Sassy's MySpace neighbors and friends - here's a link to her page! Stop by and leave a "shout out"!

Signed,
The Sassy Travels Administration

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Sassy Filed Her 50 Page Brief On Time!

Give that woman a Klondike bar!


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Wednesday, June 21, 2006

HOT HOT HEAT!!!!

CONGRATS TO OUR MIAMI HEAT!!!
2006 NBA CHAMPIONS!!!



AND SPECIAL LUV TO OUR BOY "FLASH" ON BEING NAMED MVP!

WOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
TIME TO PARTY!!!!

Saturday, June 10, 2006

My Name Is Sassy ...

... and I'm addicted to Deadliest Catch. It's true. I live and breathe to watch the latest episode. I don't care if it's King Crab season or Opie season. I just have to have my fix. And I don't even like crab! I mean, when Dave (deckhand - Cornelia Marie) rolled his ankle - I wept. When Nick's (deckhand - Northwestern) wife called and said she and the baby had the flu - I wanted to fly up to Alaska (or wherever the frozen hell she lives) and make chicken soup for her. And I'm about ready to fire the entire crew of the Rollo! How dare they screw up the crab count and get one of my fave captains (Cap'n Eric) fined! Bastards....

If you don't watch this show, you're missing out. I mean, I don't know about you guys, but I'm almost ready to go rig some pots, hook some lines, run some block, and eat some beating cod heart! It's a great soap opera, full of testosterone ... it's a testospera!

Gotta go - they're re-airing last week's episode! Woo hoo!

Signed,
Sassy Greenhorn

Oh - and a special Sassy shout-out to my fellow Nittany Lion, Cap'n Andy (Time Bandit)! WE ARE! PENN STATE!


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World Cup Update: Way To Go Trinis!!!!!!

The smallest country to ever qualify for the World Cup just scored a MAJOR victory ... and they didn't win the game! Sassy salutes her island neighbors, Trinidad & Tobago, on holding the Swedes (one of the favorites to win it all) to a draw in their opening game. Great saves by Hislop, who was voted Man of the Match, were critical to this quasi-victory. (By the way, Hislop didn't know he was going to be the starting goalie until warm-ups!) And T&T had a couple of close shots on the Swede net, proving they're not just all about defense. Sadly, the islanders will be a man down for the next game, thanks to the LOUSY call in which Avery John got red-carded. Whatever, ref. We get it: we're black, you're not. Anyway, Trinidad can call this a win, especially after playing the second half with only 10 men. As Jazzy said: "Go back to Ikea, you Swedes!" Trinis rule!

Signed,
Sassy Soccer Skank

P.S. By the way, Trinis, we'll wait 'til the World Cup is over to argue about who owns the flying fish. (SPOILER ALERT: Bajans do.)

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Let's Go Becks!

That's right! Sassy said it! Dude - it's World Cup season! I'm flying my Union Jack outside our house; I'm wearing my Union Jack tank top; and I'm drinking a pint of ... well ... truth be told ... I'm drinking a pint of Corona Light. But before you laugh, remember that the last time Paraguay faced England in the World Cup, Paraguay lost. And where was that match held? That's right - ese juego fue jugado en Mexico. Ergo, thus, and therefore, it's good luck to drink Mexican beer on the morning of England's first match! (Right?)

The other love of my life, David Beckham (yes - he looks a lot like The Cap'n), has already scored a brilliant goal and I'm reliving my days as a football [Brit to Yank translation: soccer] groupie. Yep - Sassy dated the football captain in school. Ah, the good old days of riding the bus to rival schools for late afternoon matches: the screaming and the scoring ... oh yeah - and the games were good too.

Well - I gotta get back to the game! Bend it for me, Becks!

Signed,
Sassy Soccer Skank

P.S. God save the Queen!

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Friday, June 09, 2006

Judge To Counsel: Remember, Paper Covers Rock!

So, you've probably already heard, but just in case you live in a cave:

This week, a federal judge in Florida ordered opposing counsel to a game of "rock, paper, scissors" to settle a deposition dispute.

Don't believe me? Here's a pic of the actual order.



You can read more about it here.

Ya know, only a couple of lawyers could be so cantankerous and uncooperative as to force this kind of judicial ruling. I'm tempted to fly out to Tampa on June 30th to blog the event live! Cuz you know, someone's bound to argue that rock crushes paper....

Signed,
Sassy Scissors

[CREDIT: Sassy shout-out to Crackhead Contributor, Jazzy, for this one!]

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My Cubicle

Even if you're a Blunt Ho like Sassy, you're probably sick and tired of seeing and/or hearing him every waking minute. (I swear, during the past two weeks, he has performed live on CBS news programs like 4 times in a row already!). In any event, if you're a slave to the money, you'll love this song (and it'll give you a much needed break from the original version)!

Enjoy!

Signed,
Sassy's Still A Blunt Bitch

[CREDIT: A Sassy shout out to Grinchy for this one!]


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Friday, June 02, 2006

Sassy Music For Lawyers

As some of you know, Sassy loves to make musical compilations, which she crafts with a view to telling a story or capturing an experience in her life. Well, thanks to iTunes and their iMix technology, Sassy has started publishing some of her more popular compilations in the iTunes Music Store.

The first one, a "professional autobiography", entitled Lawyers, Guns & Money, was a huge hit with legal and non-legal folk alike. If you enjoy a fairly eclectic blend of music, you'll probably enjoy most of Sassy's mixes. As we publish additional iMixes, we will update the links on the left sidebar so our loyal reader(s) can check 'em out!

Happy listening!

Signed,
Sassy Spin Doctor

P.S. You'll need iTunes, which you can download for free here.


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