Tuesday, February 22, 2005

And Then There's Belinda - The Wonderdog

Ya know...don't quote me but, I think Sam is cheating on Belinda. Readers - you tell me what you think.

It used to be that Belinda would come over to visit and Sam would go berserk. I mean, one hour with that bitch and our dog would be trotting on air for like a week. We figured they were canine soulmates. You could go up to a sulky Sam and simply say the word "Belinda" and he would sit up and smile. He even had her photo at doggie eye level on the fridge.

But now...not so much. Now, Belinda's human housemate chauffeurs her over for a play date and Sam appears...bored. He seems distant, uncaring even. And it's not like Belinda is behaving any differently: she's still digging holes under our fence and chasing lizards. But Sam is just laying in the shade ignoring her.

"Yeah, well, whatever." Posted by Hello

"What is going on here?" I ask, addressing Sam and Ben at the same time as I often do. Belinda just looks at me with those beautiful eyes as if to say, "I don't know, Jo."

"I'll tell you what's going on," Ben says. "Sam heard 'the thing'. And now he's pissed."

Ut oh. Maybe that's true. Maybe Ben's right.

You see, one day last summer, Belinda's human housemate, Trish, was enjoying a glass of wine at our place, having recently returned from a trip up north. She was telling me and Ben about her journey of spiritual rejuvenation and she happened to mention "the thing". And we now speculate that Sam overheard...and that's the reason for his recent reservations towards Belinda.

"Did I tell you Belinda made tons of friends in Virginia?" Trish said.

"Really? Like who?" Ben asked, ever protective of his dog.

"Well, she's got at least one or two new boyfriends in Virginia now."

Yep. That's "the thing".

Truth be told, Sam seemed OK with it at first. But then, I suspect Belinda couldn't keep her mouth shut about her Virginian adventures, and maybe she shared one detail too many with Sam. You know - like when you mention an ex-boyfriend to your new lover and he's OK with it, right up 'til the point when you begin to graphically describe the time your ex ripped your panties off in the back of a taxi cab? Too much information.

And then, our other friend Dan came over with a female, black standard poodle. Sam had never met her before. And, judging by his reaction, he was apparently smitten. He never left her side. And she was all coy and cute. They pranced around the yard together for like...well, minutes.

Being the funny one, I said, "Hey, look at Sam. He figures if Ben can have a black chick, so can he."

I think Ben went, "Ha. Ha." Or something like that.

Anyway, I think the magic's gone between Sam and Belinda. I feel bad for Belinda because I think Sam's just punishing her adventurous, free spirit, as males of all species tend to do. The last time we dog-sat Belinda, Sam was particularly aloof.

"Why won't he play with me?" Posted by Hello

I pulled Belinda aside and gave her a standard Sassy speech: "Listen to me. Don't pay any attention to him," I said. "He can either get over it, or not." She looked at me as if I was speaking a foreign language. "What I'm trying to say is," I forged ahead with my lecture, "Sam needs to understand who you are. And if he can't love you like that, then....forget him."

Apparently satisfied with my advice, Belinda jumped off the bed, shook her ass, and promptly ate all of the cat's food.

Ok then. I think my work here is done.


Nizzle von Zieman said...

Isn't Belinda the one that keeps given sam dog tic's? Mabye sam was just waitin for an excuse to get outa the relationship.

Sam (Da Dawg) said...

Um - that is not fair to say. I happen to be a very outgoing and gregarious dog. What I mean is, I've got lots of bitches.

Sassy said...

Nizzle - you're thinking of Barky, Sam's bitch from around the corner.

Sam (Da Dawg) said...

Um - Nizzle, is it? Why don't you keep your fat mouth shut? I try to make sure my bitches don't know about each other. Dick.

Nizzle von Zieman said...

Sam you player.
And don't sass me, i'll make sure you don't get cheeses!

BelindanandaWonderRamaGuruDog-ji, the Barkless Egyptian Desert Dog w/ the Cleopatra Eyeliner said...

All of the other dogs were just friends. Romping partners. Sam's the one for me. I'll hold out for Sam 'til the end of time.

Sam (Da Dawg) said...

Bite me, bitch. ;o)