Dude, what were you thinking? Ok - that was unfair. It's just that, well, I saw your photo on the news today and you didn't look so good. You looked kind of...well...........plastic. Look, all I am trying to say is, I miss you and wish you would come home. Cuz lemme tell you, it sucks here right now.
I mean, where did all of our dreams and hopes go? Oh, yeah, right....you just had to enlist, had to protect our freedom and all that. "The camo uniforms are so cool!" you exclaimed. "And they come with all these great accessories!" Well, look where that got us.
Cody, my hero
Listen, the creditors are calling. They want the Jeep back. And possibly the Malibu house. And the furniture (remember, that had to be purchased separately). But, I would gladly give it all up if you could come home safe. I don't care! They can have the car, the house, my beachwear with matching sarong and sunglasses! I would rather have you!
But, "you-know-who" has been coming over, offering me a solid (albeit rounded) shoulder to lean on. He says I can do better. I say to him, "Listen, Ken, I am with Cody. And until his limited warranty runs out, I am his girl." Was that the wrong thing to say? I don't know. I am so confused.
Truth be told, Code-man, I am thinking about babies. I know, I know, I know - you aren't ready. And you are right. There are lots of things about you that aren't appropriate for children under the age of 3. And then there's Ken, making the point that he would be a great father because he isn't designed for war or violence. In fact, he doesn't have any small parts that may be easily swallowed. I guess you know what I mean.
I guess I am looking for more of a pacifist right now. I don't know if I even believe in this war anymore. I'm sure you are having your own doubts, seeing as how you were originally sent there to bring joy to children on Army posts in Kuwait. Well, I'm sorry.
If you make it home (which I doubt because that rifle pointed at your head didn't look like a good sign and the sign behind your head appeared to be in Middle Eastern), I'll cook you something in the EZ Bake (if I still have it). If you don't make it home, I hope you'll bless my choices (i.e. possibly marrying Ken and moving to San Francisco - why he wants to live there is still a mystery to me).
Meanwhile, I love you.