Nude man swims across Biscayne Bay in search of Anna Kournikova
The Naked Nightmare
Yeah, he did it. He swam 200 yards across the Biscayne Bay in downtown Miami. Stark naked. Claims he had a date with Anna. Yeah, ok, buddy. Whatever you say. Unfortunately, she apparently gave him the wrong address - he came ashore (no pun intended) about three houses away, where he was discovered lolling around in the buff in "a most lewd position," according to a startled neighbor.
Now, I have two theories about this bare-assed blunder.
Theory Number One: It was the blonde's idea.
Ya think maybe this was just a friendly prank between the dueling Russian tennis tarts? (Ok - I admit. I've had a "thing" against Maria Sharapova ever since my Captain declared she was one of the "hottest chicks" he had seen in a long time. He has since recanted but I think that was only because I pouted for about 6 months.) Anyway, I can just imagine little Miss Sharpie paying off the dastardly diver and daring him to pay a visit to the other diva's house.
Theory Number Two: It was the blonde's idea.
Then again, Kournikova has had to take a back seat ever since that Maria chick came along and stole center court. I mean, it's gotta really gall Anna that not only is Sharapova cuter and younger, she can actually play tennis too. Hmmm...... Maybe Anna staged the whole thing just to get back into the news. And if you count this blog as news...it worked.
Well, it just goes to prove my other theory: You can't trust blondes.