Ok - so it's not a Summer Concert Series like on the Today show but, we at Sassy Travels feel obliged to point out that scores of stupid slobs seem to surface during the summer solstice. [Sorry...it's Saturday morning, and you know what that means........]
[Yep....Sassy's sucking down a screwdriver and seeing how many alliterations she can up with....A mind's a terrible thing to get wasted....].
Anyway - along the lines of our Village Idiot Contest, we submit the following candidates for Mensa membership (not!):
1. Pizza Shop Robber Leaves Job Application
So, while he patiently waited to hold up the pizza parlor, dude filled out a job application....Yep. It wasn't hard for the police to track him down, seeing as how he was kind enough to leave his real name and address....
2. Burger Joint Burglars Leave DNA
Seems like fast food is the preferred diet of delinquents these days. These thugs munched on some burgers before they robbed the restaurant. Too bad they didn't finish their meals....Hey, what's better than leaving your name and address for the cops to find? Leaving your genetic code....
3. Woman Leaves Bullet .....(in stupid boyfriend's mouth)
Ok, look....How many times have I told you guys not to let your angry girlfriends put guns in your mouth??! Some men are really retarded! Why you guys let pissed off women tie you up and do crazy things like cut off your testicles....well, it's beyond me.
Anyway, I gotta go. I have consumed my cocktail and now it's nap time.....[How's that for one last Sassy set of alliterations?]
P.S. Based on a his behavior during an interview on the afore-mentioned Today show - apparently, now he's an expert on pharmaceutical findings [and by "expert" we mean "friggin' idiot"] - a petition was promptly posted at the Sassy Travels headquarters suggestng that Tom Cruise be added to the Summer Stupidity Series line-up.....For those of you interested in voting, here's an official ballot. Just email it back to Sassy when you're ready!
Tags: News; Tom Cruise; funny news