This just in:
As loyal readers (and really bored people who actually delve into the voluminous archives of this Blog) know, a certain 3/8" ratchet has been missing ever since the installation of the Nizzle's Whipple Supercharger on his SS truck. Well, we are happy to report:
The ratchet has been located, and appears to be in good health.
While it is true that our Silver (as opposed to "Amber") Alert procedures are not yet state-of-the-art, our dedication and commitment to the safe recovery and relocation of this wayward wrench...well, I don't want to get all misty but....we left no stone unturned. I mean, we searched every doghouse, henhouse, outhouse....our house....Apparently, the only place we didn't really look too good was the...um... tool box. But, hey....we found the ratchet, so get off our backs, OK?
Anyway, thanks to all the volunteers, who spent countless hours scouring the neighborhood and I-95. Ratchey is safe, resting comfortably, and still stainless.
Oh - And a special shout-out to Nizzle, who actually discovered the tool at the bottom of the tool box tonight. Um....I have checked with our insurers and they inform me that you, Nizzle, are not eligible for the previously advertised reward of $500,000 because you are either a) an employee, or b) family, or some such other legal disclaimer shit....Sorry, dude.