Saturday, March 05, 2005

Wanna Name My Monkey?

Online Bidder To Pay $650,000 To Name Monkey

Yes. You read that correctly. Someone is about to fork over $650 THOUSAND dollars for the privilege of naming a newly-discovered species of monkey. Now, in fairness, the money goes to a good monkey business - the Bolivian National Park Service - so don't get your knickers in a twist.

Anyway, the new species is a type of Bolivian titi monkey. (Um - is that pronounced the way I think?) Well, I can't help but offer some suggestions. I mean, it's for a good cause and all. And well, what if the winning bidder has writer's block? So here goes:

Sassy Simian

First of all, I think you should name the newborns "Suckling Titis". Then you can name the young females "Perky Titis". Young males would be "Gofer Titis." Of course, you could call all the mature males "Baboobs." See, then you could refer to older females as "Baboobshkas".

These are merely suggestions. But if you use them, I expect to get paid.

(A mind is a terrible thing to get wasted.)


uscu2 said...

Hey Kif here, Jazzy's brother if you will.

I just wanted to say it's an outrage that someone would spend $650,000 for anything that isn't either:

A) An NFL Franchise
B) Tobacco related
C) Food
D) An island that you can film same subpar cheesy reality TV show on and get money in return.

So, good find. Thanks for giving us some publicity in your site. I'll make sure the staff of remembers you in some way. Happy writing and generally a better life of no 5 degree weather ...


Nizzle von Zieman said...

I'll let somebody name my monkey for 100 g units.