Online Bidder To Pay $650,000 To Name Monkey
Yes. You read that correctly. Someone is about to fork over $650 THOUSAND dollars for the privilege of naming a newly-discovered species of monkey. Now, in fairness, the money goes to a good monkey business - the Bolivian National Park Service - so don't get your knickers in a twist.
Anyway, the new species is a type of Bolivian titi monkey. (Um - is that pronounced the way I think?) Well, I can't help but offer some suggestions. I mean, it's for a good cause and all. And well, what if the winning bidder has writer's block? So here goes:
First of all, I think you should name the newborns "Suckling Titis". Then you can name the young females "Perky Titis". Young males would be "Gofer Titis." Of course, you could call all the mature males "Baboobs." See, then you could refer to older females as "Baboobshkas".
These are merely suggestions. But if you use them, I expect to get paid.
(A mind is a terrible thing to get wasted.)