Friday, March 11, 2005

Yowza Y'inzers!

Son Sues Dad Over Steelers Season Tickets

See, I learned from Youvegottalovesports.com that a Y'inzer is a Pittsburgh native. And one thing I know about those damn Y'inzers (aside from the fact that they are all nuts) - they LOVE their frigging Steelers!! This story proves it.


"I want my two tickets!"

You know, I suppose when you've got nothing to do during the off season but dry your tears, wipe off your snot, shovel snow, and load up on Primanti Bros, you could as well sit down and draft a lawsuit against your dad. Not for nothin', but, unless sonny can prove he forked over the cash, he's gonna get the shaft on those tickets. (Shaft - get it? It's a coal mining joke...Um...Never mind).

Anyway, I say, "Go, you Y'inzer!" Because the truth is that if my dear old Granny was holding out on me, I would drop kick her ass in a heartbeat for a couple of good Eagles tickets. (I am not saying I condone violence or litigation, I'm just saying I understand....)

Signed - Sympathetic To Steelers Fans, Sassy

P.S. For those of you who don't know, our dear friend, Jazzy, is a Y'inzer....

>>>BREAKING NEWS ALERT<<<

The Eagles just sent a contract over to Plaxico Burress.....oh...please, please please! Readers: I've gotta go! There's some serious praying to the Football Gods I've gotta do. (That and some sewing....Now let's see....what would a Bill Cowher doll look like?)

(Oh - the fights Jazzy and I will have! I can't WAIT for Football season!)

1 comment:

JazzyJ said...

I have a number of things to say:

A of all...initially I was going to deny being a yinzer.

Yinzerhood is a way of life, and it is difficult to define. It usually involves some combination of the following: a hunting license, refusal to use any form of "to be" in everyday language (yinzer example: those clothes need picked up), a love of bratwurst, a love of iron city beer, an unshakeable belief that the Steelers of the mid to late 1970s are one of the greatest football dynasties of all time, ownership of ridiculous items in the black and gold variety ( i.e. black and gold underwear), love of Pirmantis Sammiches, and finally, the hallmark use of the word "yinz" (i.e. yinz guys goin dahn to the strip tonite for some pirmannis sammiches?)

I may fall into some of those categories, but certainly not all.

B of all...upon further reflection, I realized that I would sue my father over Steelers season tickets, thereby making me an automatic yinzer.

C of all...I hope this man paid by check, and wrote, "Steeler seat licenses" in the memo line.

Finally, D of all...I hope that Plax, after the obligatory, "I fired my agent, now I have to wait five days before doing anything" waiting period finds happiness with the Iggles. I love him to death, but we only have a need for team players here in the burgh.