Monday, May 01, 2006

Observations From Philly/Willy Trip: Day One

So, as y'all know - Sassy travels and the Cap'n too! Our latest trip took us back to the Philadelphia/Wilmington region (a/k/a Philly/Willy). Why, you ask, did we leave the sun and fun of South Florida for the chills and thrills of the mid-Atlantic region? Well, Sassy's old law firm invited her to an "Alumni Reception" - a novel concept, indeed, but not as crazy as you might think. You see, contrary to the fear suggestion expressed by the people I currently work with, I don't think my former employers were trying to "woo" me back (after all, that would be a waste of an open bar). Rather, I believe the purpose of the gathering was to simply reach out to former partners and associates in a convivial setting and in the spirit of camaraderie. Oh yeah - there may also have been a minimal amount of bragging about how well the firm is doing since we all left, but who cares? Did I mention there was an open bar?

Anyway, we've spent some time [i.e. the unannounced 3 week hiatus ... um, well, that's part of the reason ...] gathering our observations from that trip and we will now share them with you on a day-by-day breakdown. Without further ado, and without apology, here's the first installment of "Observations From Philly/Willy Trip":


Wake up early to pack. Flight leaving at 10 a.m. Have to be at airport two hours early as I think I'm still on the "No Fly" list so must allow extra time for usual strip search. Speaking of which - change panties to granny style. Save thongs for later. Haitian cabbie almost broadsides a bus turning into the airport. Not a great beginning to the trip.
  • Number of velour track suits seen at Fort Lauderdale airport: 12
  • Number of actual track athletes seen at airport: 0
  • Number of pre-flight cocktails: 0 [Shocking, I know, but true.]
  • Number of in-flight cocktails: .... Um ... 3, no 4?
  • Number of in-flight cocktails actually purchased from flight attendant: 0 [Yes - I said "zero."]
  • Number of times I laughed at Dave Chappelle's stand-up on my video iPod during the flight: 59
  • Number of times random strangers compared me to Halle Berry: 2 [Will it never end?]
  • Funniest comment heard: The Cap'n trying to convince Jazzy to join us at the Alumni Reception on Monday: "Yeah - but they'll have free food and booze!" Spoken like a true non-lawyer. Way to break it down to the basics, Cap'n! And it almost worked. Gotta love him!
  • Number of times I wondered whether attending the Reception was actually a good idea: 2
  • Number of times self-doubt soothed by sip of scotch: Um ... at least 2
  • Highlight of the day: Loyal Reader, The Boz, walking into Kid Shelleen's.
The events post-drinks-at-Kid-Shelleen's (one of our fave watering holes in Wilmington) are predictably blurry (and I believe there may have been some nudity involved) so we'll skip them. Suffice it to say, we checked into a charming little hotel that claimed to have a better "cleanliness" rating than the world famous Hotel DuPont.

"Y'all beat out the Hotel DuPont?" I challenge the front desk clerk with all due skepticism (and scotch-laced breath).

"Well, for cleanliness, yeah," he replies proudly.

Interesting. Doubtful, to be sure, but interesting nonetheless. We place the "Do Not Disturb" sign on the door and hit the hay.

And, that's all we can publish for Day One. Stay tuned for Day Two. It gets juicy, we promise!



Loyal Reader The Boz said...

"Number of times random strangers compared me to Halle Berry: 2 [Will it never end?]"

Sh*t, I thought I was being so original!

Sassy said...


Dude - the worst Halle comment happened recently while we were out drinking with friends. We went to Coyote Ugly (don't ask) and the bartender got on a microphone and announced to everyone in the bar that Halle Berry had arrived. There was lots of cheering (coupled with chants of "Dance on the bar! Dance on the bar!") The real Ms. Berry will be relieved to know that I a) denied being her and b) declined the invitation to dance on the bar. Can't you just see the headlines if I had.....?!?

JazzyJ said...

Yes, Ben almost trapped me in his clever web of logic - spun of free booze.