AI5 Season Finale: All Hail Hicks!

Let me just say: THAT WAS ONE OF THE BEST MUSICAL EVENTS ON TV EVER! Seriously, they couldn't have done a better job of collecting some of Sassy's favorite singers and songs if Sassy had sent them a freakin' list! I enjoyed every second (all three times I watched it)! I mean, they had me at Al Jarreau! (We love you, Paris!)

To recap some of Sassy's fave highlights:

• First of all, I will admit that I spent much of the Daughtry/Live performance curled up on the floor in a fetal position, weeping hysterically out of sheer ecstasy. Having just downloaded Live's latest release on Monday (by the way, it RAWKS!), I couldn't believe my ears when they chose to play one of my favorite songs on that album. Here I thought they were going to sing "Walk the Line" or even an oldie but goody like "Lightning Crashes". I could've handled that. But no. They just had to go and reduce Sassy to a blubbering mess with "Mystery". Outstanding! Per Jazzy: "It made watching the whole season of that ridiculous show worth it." True dat, my sistah. True dat, fo' shizzle.
  
• McPhee and Meat Loaf: Who knew that would be so awesome?! She looked H.O.T. and somehow, pairing her up with the creepy (in an "old-man-staring-at-your-daughter's-tits" kinda way) Mr. Loaf, was sheer brilliance. I almost wished I had voted for her on Tuesday night. Almost.
  
• Then they bring on that crazy David Hoover dude. When he took a header into the audience (apparently by accident) The Cap'n and I just about wet ourselves. Hysterical.
  
• And please, let's not forget about Mary J. Blige and the Garden Gnome. What can I say? Considering Miss MJB and the new Double G [not to be confused with the original Double G; you know who you are] performed one of my all time favorite U2 songs, they were surprisingly good.
  
• Excuse me, but let this be your lesson: Burt Bacharach bedazzles; Lisa Tucker tantalizes; and Dionne Warwick wins our hearts all over again! If you were born in the late '60s or early '70s and grew up watching The Dionne Warwick Show on Sunday nights, you know what I mean when I say, "Welcome back, Miss Thang!" Wow. And just when you thought you'd seen all the legendary artists you could stand ....:
• They bring out my purple potentate, Prince. First of all, and by way of full disclosure, I would like to say that when I moved out of my parents' house at the tender age of 17, I left a smudgy, brown, rectangular outline on the wall above my bedroom door where my Purple Rain poster used to be. Yeah. I was (am) a Prince proselyte [it's a word, look it up]. I know some of you out there [Miss Lala] feel me on this one. I mean, I quit smoking 7 years ago, but when Prince (and those two FINE looking ladies he had with him) got done, I was gagging for a fag. [Brit to Yank translation: Sassy was dying for a cigarette.] Hmm. Hmm. Hmmm. At one point, I had to turn and gently close The Cap'n's mouth which, unbeknownst to him, was ... let's just say ... ajar. What a devious, delightful, delicious delivery. Oh yeah - and Prince sounded good, too.
  
• Speaking of delightful and delicious: Can we please have a moment of silence for Mandisa in that red dress? Dude. I know loyal reader, The Boz, probably spent some "quality time" with that image in his head. [Who loves ya, baby!!] It just goes to show, Mandisa is every woman! You go, girl!
  
• And before I forget: Who was that hottie, and what did he do with Clay Aiken?! I mean, I was aghast at the reaction (think "hot flashes" and "weak knees") I had when the new and improved Aiken walked out. He looked (dare I say it?) kinda yummy! Holy makeover, Clay-Mate!
  

Well, we thought it was a great show and a wonderful way to wrap up the season. We had a couple of laughs, got to see our favorites return, and witnessed some awesome performances. Heck - even Pickler and Ace The Face sounded pretty good. [Some people still sucked, however.] All in all, my hat's off to you, AI5. Well done! Now, y'all better bring it next season!!

Signed,
Satisfied Sassy

Oh - I almost forgot - Taylor Hicks won! Woo hoo! My 63 votes worked! [Note to self: Must get unlimited text messaging service for next season. Phone bill's outta control...] Go Soul Patrol! Congrats, Taylor. Now make us proud and I'll stop calling you George Clooney, I promise.

Tags: Sassy Travels; American Idol; entertainment; music