A Re-Ignited Heat!
Ha haaaaaaaaaaaaa! Now that was entertainment! What a game! At some point near the end of the third quarter, Ben and I divided our psychic labors such that he was in charge of Heat Offense and I was in charge of Heat Defense. For any of you skeptics out there that think we didn't make a difference - I challenge you to compare the stats from the first 3 quarters with those of the final one.....[and then get back to me, cuz I'm not sure what those stats will reveal. I'm pretty sure we helped though....]
Anyway, here's what I learned about the NBA tonight:
1. Basketball is NOT a contact sport. Fouls because of "knees" and "pushing" and "blocking"??? Um - how else do you people execute a proper defense? I guess I'm too used to watching a sport where chop blocks and fingers to the eye are fairly common....Ben's theory re: the NBA and its contact penalties?: "Touch the other person as much as you can 'til you get caught." Of course, that's also his theory re: other things....
2. Hamilton's mask is filled with soluble steroids. Seriously, someone should test it. I mean, during the first half, Hamilton was hitting so many baskets, I became convinced he'd sold his soul to the devil. Naturally, I counteracted with my own satanic pact...and hence, the final outcome in favor of Miami. But, really...how much do we know about Hamilton's mask?
3. TNT doesn't give a shit about basketball. They just care about numbers and sponsors. Otherwise, why else would they split screen during a free throw attempt and over-dub with audio about some new stupid series called "The Closer"?
4. I am a Hi-Def Ho. Dude - if you don't have Hi-Def, you don't know what you're missing. More importantly, and specifically in regard to Item # 3 above, you don't know what you CAN miss. The ability to pause, fast forward, instant replay, etc.....well, let's just say the whole reason we went Hi-Def was for Football Season (which can't get here soon enough!). Since going Hi-Def, I have caught myself watching the oddest of programs - just because they were broadcast in Hi-Def! Like, I watched an entire show about the migration of birds from the Artic to the South Pole! I mean, there wasn't a single human in the whole program...and no sex, guns, bloody murders, or laser beams, or anything! Can you imagine?! Anyway, Hi-Def on plasma RULES! Thank you, Dell!
Ok - that's all I have for tonight's game.
LET'S GO HEAT!!!
Signed,
Sassy from South F-L-A
P.S. Um....is it just me or was it fairly obvious that Carrie would win American Idol when, right before the announcement, Fox aired a huge NASCAR commercial? Vonzell was robbed....
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