Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Heat vs. Pistons: Game One

Ahh - the agony of defeat. Wade couldn't hit the broadside of a barn and the rest of the team seemed somewhat anemic. What happened? Was it too much time off? Rust? The choke factor? Or are the Pistons just that damned good? Who knows.


Yep. Losing sucks.

Anyway, rather than focus on this stinging loss, I want to draw your attention to a few other things:

1. Kudos to Charles Barkley for wearing a BLUE suit! What was up with the Tan Tan Club (as I started calling the other three commentators)? Don't they have a production assistant or some other roadie to say, "Um...fellas? Y'all realize you are basically wearing the same outfit, right? I mean....you look retarded"? Aren't they married? Don't they have girlfriends? Cuz after all, any woman will tell you - don't get caught dead in the same dress as some other ho at the party. Ben pointed out that Magic was actually wearing a three piece suit. This is true. However, it was still all TAN!

2. NBA commentators suck and don't teach me anything about the game. It's true. If you're in the kitchen adding an ice cube to your scotch and can't see the TV screen, you have no godly idea of what's going on with the game. It seems to me that no one is actually calling the game. No play-by-play. Everyone is a fricking color commentator. [And, apparently, the color is tan]. And they never explain the penalties. At one point, I actually had to look up the 3 second violation on the Internet to figure out what the hell was going on! I mean, in the interest of cultivating fans, I think the commentators should explain some of the game's nuances to NBA neophytes like myself. After all, almost everything I know about the NFL I learned from Al Michaels, Frank Gifford, Boomer Esaison, Pat Summerall, and [God help me] John Madden [John taught me that turnovers are bad and the team with the most points at the end of the game wins]. Oh well - maybe the guys over at YouveGottaLoveSports.com can post a primer on penalties in the NBA section of their website so I can refer to it during Game 2.

3. Would someone please tell me what's up with Phantom of the Opera dude? I keep waiting for the commentators to bring us up to speed on Hamilton's mask but....well, see Item 2 above. I mean, I assumed he had a broken facial bone or something, but as far as I can remember [and yes, that's not far] Hamilton was wearing that thing last year as well...so wouldn't a fracture have healed by now? I dunno...there's got to be more to it. I am sure someone can enlighten me....(Kif?)

4. Miami Heat fans are truly a cohesive unit. I've been to dozens of basketball games over the years in places like Seattle, Philadelphia, New York (and even Puerto Rico) but I've never seen a home crowd quite like the Miami one. We went to several games at the Triple A last season and it was a blast! The music is rocking, the fans are rocking, it's crazy! I mean, Miami fans take a theme and run with it! Last year it was Back in Black; this year it's The Red Zone. So many red shirts it looks like the stands are empty! Miami fans follow every move on the court; they are into the game for every second. And let's not overlook a BenJo favorite: Heat Jam Junior! Those kids ROCK OUT! Woo hoo! Jam Jr.! Yeah! You go, kids![Um...I guess you kinda have to be there....] Anyway, even if you're not really a Heat fan, you've gotta admire the Heat fans....

Well, that's all I have to say about Game 1. Here's to a better outcome [for Miami] in Game 2.....

Signed,

Sassy Sportsfan

3 comments:

uscu2 said...

I'm glad we can finally agree on something. I'll see if anyone can get an article going on NBA rules. But the funny thing about it is they are largely unknown actually. NBA refs are notorious for being some of the worst in the sporting world. Most of the calls are based largely on a split decision judgment. If an offensive charge is called so many things must be considered:
1) Did the defender have his feet set?
2) Was the player with the ball lowering his shoulder?
3) Was the player with the ball out of control?

These are just a few things to consider for one call. So as you can see calls tend to be somewhat complicated to make. I'll see what we can do as a staff though.

As for Rip Hamilton and his mask it is a broken bone in his face. He wore it last year during the playoffs, and didn't wear it during the beginning of the season as his bone had healed. But part way through the season, I believe around February, he broke it again. He's a player who runs around a lot coming off of screens and the such. So he often is on the negative end of people's elbows and the such. So it's broken, and the mask is designed to spread the impact out to the corners of his face. Hope this helps.

Davis

Sassy said...

Ahhh...finally, some enlightenment! Thanks!!!!

Hey - we can ALWAYS find something to agree about! :o)

JazzyJ said...

There is so much love on this blog that I could vomit.