"Gimme Back My Sex Tape!"

Ahhh....the reality of retards. I love it when celebrities prove that money doesn't buy Mensa memberships (or brains, for that matter).

Exhibit "A": Colin Farrell Sues to Block Sex Tape

Bernie: Why is it so difficult to understand that when you make a sex tape with ANYONE you never can trust that it won't be released? One word - DUH!

Sassy: I KNOW! I read the article this morning and I was like: "Yeah dumbass....You were already a movie star when you made the sex tape. Did you really think she would keep it a secret? And if the shoe had been on the other foot....would you have kept the tape a secret?" What a hypocrite.

Of course, the real problem with this story isn't so much the fact that Colin Farrell is so friggin' stupid. That's obvious.

No, no, dear reader(s). The real problem here is that....[and I know some of you know where I'm going with this].......well, the tape is only 15 minutes long.

Damn.

That's a shame, Colin. Fifteen minutes?!? That's all you could muster? And now, thanks to your ridiculous lawsuit, the whole world knows that you're not so much "Sonny Crockett" as you are...well...:

Dude. I'm embarrassed for you.
Well, I better sign off. I gotta go finish editing this movie I made with the Cap'n. [It's a documentary about boxes. Yep. Human voice boxes and their ability to mimic the mating calls of baboons in heat....] You should be able to purchase it soon...Internet orders only, please. By the way, I hope y'all like soundtracks with Marvin Gaye and Barry White....

Hey, if you want a preview, click here.

Signed,
Sexy Sassy

[Ed. Note: The following Sassy Travels reporters contributed to this post: Bernie and SHUDS. By the way, SHUDS - can I have my video camera back?]

Tags: Colin Farrell; movies; miami vice; sex tapes; Sassy Travels; miami vice movie.