Thursday, October 20, 2005

A Post From Playdough, The Cat

Breaking News: Dog Bites Owner

Now, I know what you humans are thinking: "This isn't news. Dogs bite their owners all the time!" And, just this once, I have to agree with you. After all, and as my loyal readers know, I have frequently suggested that canines be exiled from existence. Indeed, when I wrote the screenplay for All Dogs Go To Heaven it had a completely different ending...and a completely different title too, for that matter....

But I digress.

The point is that this is not your average dogbite story, oh no. To wit, as the Associated Press reports:
The author of a new state law that allows felony charges against owners of dangerous dogs was hospitalized over the weekend after his own dog attacked him.
Apparently, the "Anti-Dangerous Dog Bill" was passed in an effort to hold dog owners accountable for the actions of their mangy mongrels. Finally! Do you have any idea how many letters I have sent to my congressman suggesting this very law? Of course, my version was simply titled the "Anti-Dog Bill" .... I am not sure why they added the word "dangerous".....

In any event, one anti-pooch politico, Sen. Sue Wilson Beffort, noted that proponents of the legislation had good intentions when they sought to penalize owners of dogs gone wild. "But I guess when it happens in your own family, that's another story," she said. "That's tragic."

Tragic indeed, dear woman. Tragic indeed. In fact, to paraphrase the venerable Vince Vaughn's character in Dodgeball: Too bad Hallmark doesn't make a "Sorry you just got bit in the butt by the incisors of irony" card. I'd buy one for sure.


[Ed. Note: As you all know, the opinions and commentary set forth in the preceding post in no way reflect those of Sassy Travels. We have tried to prevent Playdough's posting on this blog. As you can see, we have failed. For that, we are sorry. However, we would like to point out that we are somewhat impressed by the Senator's use of J-Jive. You go, girl!]

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